Where is my focus?

For the past few months, I had been doing lots of thinking, thinking and thinking. Or rather, replanning, remapping and re-whatever that I could THINK of.

First up, why should I be going where everyone else is when I've always been taking a completely different route (albeit a lil lonely). Am I a corporate person? Am I really suited for office in the long run? Heck, I am always so against convention, my brain practically burp when others rejoice about some (achievement of sorts), which, sorry to say, I find mind-numbing. There you have it. Will my mind ever fit into the conventional world? Errrrmm, never in a million years. I frantically go after things that the world says it's impossible, but I find myself running away like I've seen ghosts when talking about some normal corporate ladder climbing. Sigh!!!

Next, what exactly is my dream? It seems like whatever that makes me laugh and looked on with glee and real passion still holds true right in my heart. My childhood dream was that someday I could go out there and helped empowered and unrepresented, weak and downtrodden. Correct. I never thought about feeding them, giving for their needs alone. I finally realised that blurry vision. It was to be part of them, to let them know that, despite what the whole world says, things will work out and their lives will soon transformed.

Finally, I am still sitting in my little corner, barely able to finish the first chapter of the draft of a novel I so wanted to write, only half-way through on my plans on some plants experiments and getting outdated on the economic worldwide.

Oh my, don't I just need to buck-up and put first thing first? Problem is... Where is my focus?