Dejected!!!

I've been feeling extremely lazy and out-of-sync, no idea why. Maybe it's time for me to give up reading news about my state and country. Though I'd still hear that from the radio and friends, maybe it won't be so nauseating and disgusting, hopefully. Times when u actually felt like crying and can't understand why. Then, u suppressed it cause it felt so silly. It really felt like my whole internal system is going haywire, and it felt so freakin' horrible, I probably must learn to detach myself from this thing called patriotism, or passion for country. The same feeling I had when I felt dejected, cause I felt I'm not good enough for music, my only real love (beside God, that is). Guess it still feels the same way still. The feeling of hopelessness and lost of vigour for things in front of you? I know, all I'd do now is to just let go and let God, my hope in Him. May He invigorate me inside out...