Confused like never before....

I seriously hope that my current situation is not a long term ones as I am getting tired and felt the whole thing is getting out of hand. Maybe it's my own doing...but then again, maybe it's not. Anyhow, I wish it would not prolong as I am slowly losing my focus.

LORD, help me to stay intact even as I am going through this phase. I knew deep down that You are watching every step I take. I only wish I knew which next step should I take. Felt like as though I'm just stumbling along even as I move along in this journey.

LORD, I believe that what You have put in my heart is what You planned for me a long time ago. If only I'm as faithful as Abraham or Moses...but You know that I'm such coward in almost everything that whatever people saw of me was never really me. After all, I need to put up a brave face to look at the world in the eye. But, for how long. I'm crumbling inside and it felt like I'm losing it. I could never understand how or why the world view certain things the way they do...

All I know is that I'm confused like never before....